.....and then it was time to go home!

Hard to believe, but tomorrow night at this time I will be home.  It seems like forever ago that I left home and even longer that this trip and it's planning was not taking up a large part of my life.   Now it's time to think about getting back to the real world and my real life.  It's both comforting and a little disorienting.  I feel like in one sense I have been on vacation for the last month and have quite honestly not had to think about much beyond my own life and my own schedule!   It feels a little self-indulgent but I must admit to enjoying that part of it.  Lack of planning can be liberating!  I am however actually looking forward to cooking!

There is much to digest about this whole trip and I anticipate that in the days and weeks to come that there will be moments where I will reflect upon moments from this past month and hope that I can learn from them. 

This evening I got to thinking about how I hope that the things that I have learned about myself and life in general will not be forgotten once I get home and get lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life.  I will try very hard not to let that happen, but I know that I may have to work at it.   I want to never lose sight of those lessons as they mean a lot to me, and I know that this time I was given to explore was a gift not to be taken lightly. 

Thank you Brad, for letting me go.  For encouraging me to do what I felt like I needed to do.  For loving me both because of and in spite of the things that make me who I am.  For always letting me know - without ever having to say a word - that you would be there for me when I got back.   I love you more than words could ever convey, so I am not sure there are any words I can ever say to thank you enough.

And to my boys ..... I have often wondered if it's hard to have me for a mother!  I know I actually asked Matt that once and he said no, so I can only hope it was an honest answer.   May you always follow your heart and have the support of a loving partner.  You are the two best things that I have ever been a part of and I am so proud of the young men that you have become.  I love you both and thanks for putting up with all of my quirks.

And to all of my friends who have taken the time to read my daily blogs, thank you.  You have let me share my voice and my thoughts in such a supportive way and your comments have truly lifted me.  I think all any of us can ask for is to know that in some small way we can touch the lives of someone else, and if I have been allowed to do that through what I have written, thank you for reading.

At dinner tonight I suddenly thought about the  moonflower.  For any of you who don't know what a moonflower is, it's a flower that grows on a vine and quite literally only blooms or opens at night when the moon shines, and only for a few days.    I got to thinking about how it has to have something to grow up or on and is so beautiful but not that common.

So if I had to name my trip something other than a gratitude tour, I guess I would name it my moonflower tour.   It required the support of others, both for it's planning and the carrying out.  It seemed to grow out of some dark nights on my part, but showed me that there is beauty to be found if you know where to look or are patient enough to let it find you.   And perhaps it's easiest to bloom when no one is looking, but that the important part is to find the beauty in yourself, even if no one else ever sees it.

So as I wind down and think about getting home tomorrow, I am a bit overwhelmed with gratitude yet again.  My hope is that anyone reading this can look at their own life and be grateful or find a way to go out into the world and share their gratitude.

So the song I am picking for today surprises even me!   If you had ever asked me if I would put a Michale Buble song on my playlist I would have laughed!  But I heard this song on the radio a few weeks ago and knew that it would be included, and as the trip wore on and I heard it again, it truly conveyed how I feel at this point of my adventure.  It's called "Home" and much of what he sings is truly what I feel ...... I wanna go home.

More to come!   Might not be every day but I am sure I will post a few more times.  Stayed tuned and thanks again!